I received a message from the Lord today. It wasn’t what I anticipated or even what I wanted but it was what I needed. I awoke this morning and began writing my Wednesday prayer tip blog. Four hours later and I was still typing but growing more and more frustrated. The delete button was getting my constant use. So I went for a walk in our beautiful Arizona weather. I prayed as I walked but came home to utter despair. Should I even continue writing? My career was facing a quick dismal end.
Many years ago the Lord settled in my heart that if I was not prepared and equipped by Him with words to speak, then I would humbly admit my inadequacies before my audience. I would not speak out of nothingness. I could not dishonor His name in such a way. Today I have learned that this same covenant will be binding for my writing. I was trying to write a blog on hearing God through a balanced lifestyle. I could not write to you what I do not have myself. Therefore I will hold this blog for a future time. It will happen. I am assured of that. God is always faithful to complete the sanctification work in His children. What He brings to the surface, He is ready to fix. I praise Him today for I know He is working in my heart. I thank Him that I heard Him clearly…even though it was a painful truth to bear.
So, what I can write about today is how I heard Him through passages in His Word. I am in an extended season of fasting therefore God is working in powerful ways. It is not uncommon during fasts for the Holy Spirit to uncover hidden sin and expose my life to brighter light. The reflection from His light shows my joy is gone. I am unbalanced. In Jeremiah 18:3-6, I read about the potter shaping the clay into a vessel of His own making. When the clay is mired, the wise potter will destroy it and start again. Today I learned my life-pot is mired. It is time for repentance and a new pot.
As I continued to sit before Him in His Word, I read the next assigned scripture from our current women’s Bible study. (Yes, God does have perfect timing and a sense of humor. I assigned these passages weeks ago and now, they are hitting home to my own heart.) Below is how God summarized Haggai 1:2-11for me.
“Give careful thought to your ways.
You have planted much, but have harvested little.
You eat, but never have enough.
You drink, but never have your fill.
You put on clothes, but are not warm.
You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.
Give careful thought to your ways.
Obey me and build what I (God) can take pleasure in and be honored.
My house remains in ruin while you are busy with your own house,
Therefore I (God) sent the drought on the labor of your hands.”
When I’m feeling useless, unproductive, empty, and barren it is time to carefully examine my ways.
What am I doing that I should NOT be doing?
Stop striving in the useless and simply repent and rest.
What am I NOT doing that I should be doing?
Enjoy His presence for there is no greater place to be.
Memorize His Word and let its power permeate throughout my soul.
What are my sins? Where is my life out of balance?
Repent and yield to the Potter.
Stop complaining about the drought and repent of the sin that caused the drought. He allowed the drought to get my attention. The perfect Father always disciplines His beloved children.
I pray my honesty in this place of brokenness can encourage you. I’m certain of this, He who began the good work in me will complete it. I love Him even more.