Lessons learned in solitude

I have had a quiet week.  Literally.  I think the only times I have verbally communicated has been the four scheduled classes I taught.  I have spent most of the week alone.  Quiet.

Not sure why.  Could be menopause.  Could be exhaustion.  Could be a need for solitude.  I have found asking myself doesn’t help because there doesn’t seem to be an answer.

I read yesterday in Mark 6:30-32 that Jesus took His disciples out on the lake for rest and solitude.  I have been on the tranquil Sea of Galilee and it is a beautiful place to be.  Right now, I would love to be floating aimlessly on that lake or maybe sitting on a beach watching the never-ending crashing of the waves.  I would be happy sitting by the fire in a log cabin nestled in snow-covered mountains.  But instead, I am spending my time sitting on the porch watching the breeze tossing leaves back and forth across the lawn.  I should get up and rake but it’s more fun to watch them dance about.  In times like these when my body can’t get away from the drudgery of the day, then my mind travels for me.

Foremost in my thoughts is my grandbaby Eli.  He is due to arrive in 84 days; just three short months.  I’m trying to imagine what he will look like.  I see him with lots of black hair like his mommy on her birthday.  He will be beautiful for all babies are.

Many thoughts revolve around the multiple ideas I have for all the unwritten novels swimming in my head. The passion to write is overwhelming at times.  Frustration overshadows the passion for I lack the skill of manipulating the words into creative prose.  Oh, how I’d love to have a writing mentor.

Then there is the to-do list.  I find I have to add a new page each day.  Every e-mail adds more tedious chores.  So, I have created a workable system.  I accomplish three things per day and then walk away from the list.

I am using this newfound discipline in my recreational reading.  In the past, I have started and finished a novel in one setting.  This has never been the best practice for my eyes or backside.  😉  This week I am pacing myself through Jack Cavanaugh’s The Colonists.  It is hard for me to wait until the next day to read a few more chapters.  I want to conquer it.  But Phillip, Priscilla, and Jared are being used to teach me patience.

My Lord is patient with me.  After far too many years, I have returned to Bible memorization. I committed to memorizing large sections of scripture years ago but for whatever reason I quit.  Yesterday, I started refreshing my memory of the Sermon on the Mount.  (Matthew 5-7)  Next, I will pick up at chapter 6 and continue memorizing the book of John.  I am amazed at how gracious He is to give me a clear head at this age.

Much time has been spent interceding for those around me who are lost to the joy of being a child of God.  They are drowning in the pit of despair when they could be dancing in His Grace.  My heart aches. Why does it seem to take so long for sinners to repent?  I must continue on for I know, intercession is the greatest ministry of a believer.

A song of praise will break through my thoughts and soon have me worshipping His glory and majesty.  I walked past Grandma Jean’s house.  I was saddened to see a for sale sign in her yard.  Her house had always been a light in the darkness.  Now it is empty.  All I could do was stop and wonder what it must be like for her to be immersed in His Light.  She is home in His Glory now.  She’s dancing with Jesus.  These thoughts take me to a deeper place of worship.  I walk on and on and on.

The week is nearing an end and with it I have concluded: solitude is good for the soul.  It forces one to think.  I have learned I need to quiet my heart more so that my words are few.  When I am home with Jesus and there is a for sale sign in front of my earthly home, I would love for my neighbors to walk by and say, “She didn’t waste words.  They may have been few but they were always the words of her Lord.”

What’s been happening in your week?


2 responses

  1. What has my week been like? Now see I love solitude but God’s been working on me to not remain there. It’s easy for me to focus only on me. I thought yesterday afternoonn would be my restful afternoon after a busy week. Pick up Rosenberg’s book and maybe a nap. But my plans were interupted by a phone call. A member of our S.S. class had heard from a young mom of three who we had adopted at Christmas. She left an abusive husband back in NY last summer with nothing but her kids and car. Last week I had delivered food to her and found her pretty sick. She didn’t have $ for her prescription so I went to get it too. But she hadn’t shared she was in a financial crisis. Missing work for almost a month. So her gas was turned off and she’s going to be evicted next Tuesday. We paid her gas bill. I put out word to our class of this woman’s need and hope that people will respond. She needs $600. So my afternoon was spent on the computer, on the phone and then realizing ‘Wait! I need to pray!’ I confess that when this first landed in my lap I was not happy. And my heart was not right. God soon showed me He was in the middle of this and all I had to do was to trust Him. Spent time on my knees weeping and confessing. So if you think of me please pray that I will have a tender heart toward God’s voice and to those hurting around me. Also, pray for this woman Tiffany. She has many needs but mostly she needs Jesus. I am going to invite her to church as well as Heaven Gates/Hells Flames. And Shelia, you may not see it but your writing is touching lives. It has mine and I know Marsha says how much she enjoys it too. I am praying for you dear friend and that we both will trust God for what He has for us each and every day. I am choosing to walk in His grace today! Love you!

  2. Aaaaahhhh…..how sweet and peaceful your thoughts were to me. Solitude, it reminds of David in the Psalms when he says we will be satisfied as with richest foods when we seek God. Peace, Joy, Full. Thank you for your words.

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