We are home in the desert of Arizona. It is a good thing I don’t live by feelings or I would never have left the California coastline.
I was created to live on the beach or at the very least, some place nearby. Preferably in Santa Barbara on the mountaintop overlooking the beach. Somewhere in this picture is my dream home.
Yes, I would need to be dreaming to be able to afford such a home. But dreaming is what I do best. Maybe someday my dreams could become reality. 😉 Will there be oceans in heaven?
Oops sorry, daydreaming again. Back to my blog..
On that long miserable drive home, I searched my mind and heart for the reasons why I was fighting the battle raging within me to grab the steering wheel and make a permanent u-turn. My heart cried turn back and my mind said go home.
My struggle is yet another sign I don’t live by my feelings. The truth is: I don’t like the sand. I hate to get in the ocean. I despise salt water and the smell of fish. Nothing makes me more miserable than to be covered with sand especially when the wind blows and I can taste the sand in my mouth. Yuck!
I refuse to sunbathe. Sunscreen is an irritating pain. As far as I am concerned, I hope I never have to put on another swimsuit for the rest of my life. Therefore, considering the strong negative emotions I have to everything pertaining to the beach, why do I say I was created for such a place?
It is simple. I love the waves. More accurately, I love the sound of the waves. I could sit on the beach in my sweats (Yes, I prefer the cooler weather at the northern beaches) the rest of my life and never lose the thrill of that sound. Listening to the power of the rushing water slamming non-stop against the beach tells me there is continuous order and power to my God. The sound of the waves drowns out all noise around me and within me. I hear nothing else but the rushing water.
Behind the beach are streets full of cars. The train roars by and airplanes fly overhead. On either side of the streets are people, restaurants, schools, businesses, all the things we call life. On the beach to my left are people walking and children playing. To my right just yards away, a hotel is under construction.
But I hear nothing except the rushing water. It is like all the distractions of life are washed away and I am immersed in the reality of true LIFE. This is where I want to live.
On the beach, I am just a child sitting before His powerful display. His voice is the rushing waters drowning out everything that is not Him. His power is the force of the waves allowing nothing to stop it…EVER. His power, His control, His order, they never fail. I feel as if I am sitting in His presence and I never want to leave.
Yes, I was created to live on the beach. It is agony for me to have to walk away. I don’t care how hungry I am or how cold I feel, I never want to turn and leave. But remember, I don’t live by my emotions.
As I walk away and near the streets, people, businesses, all these things remind me that I have to reenter the world. Why can’t I just stay on the beach?
Why can’t I be like this bird and just stay?
Good thing I don’t live by my emotions or I would rebel against God and put into action my own plan for my life. But instead, I yield to His rule and in return I get a sweet surprise. This very morning, in the hot, dry, stillness of the desert I hear His gentle quiet voice. He is not confined to constant displays of power. He can be heard wherever and whenever my heart is totally seeking Him.
So I wasn’t really created for life on the beach after all. More accurately, I was created to live in His Presence. And until He guides me back to the beach where the thunder of His voice overwhelms me, I will be content with the stillness of His voice here…at home.
I can just dream that daily we are walking along the shore in the sunset. Remember, I am good at dreaming.