Is there anyone out there feeling like me?
You long for a time when you can no longer remember your wicked past.
I am 53 years old today. I have lived two years longer than my mother. I am reminded today of how young she was when she died. She taught me many things. She introduced me to Jesus. She lived her faith well. Though she would now be the first to admit, she lived with needless regrets from her past. I want to learn from her mistakes.
I was saved at the age of 10 in VBS at Calvary Baptist Church in Oak Hill, WV. I can still remember that service. Rev. Alden Meadow daily delivered the salvation message and made an altar call. Even though that little church building has long since been demolished to make room for the newer building, I can still see myself walking up that aisle. It was a supernatural experience. It was real.
I did okay those first few years. I wanted to be good. I wanted to love God and obey Him. But the teen years came and my heart was weak. My body was even weaker. It was during those years that I lived a lie.
I never missed a church service and always professed my faith. I invited friends to join me in my religion. I was clueless about what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. I loved the world more than I loved my Savior.
Facebook has been a constant reminder of my wickedness. As I reconnect with high school and college friends, I am torn. Part of me is thrilled to know them again. A bigger part of me wants to hide from them for they knew me when.
I question what they must think when they read my posts. I shudder wondering if they believe me to be a liar still. I want them to read my blogs and hopefully they will see a new me. Is that possible in just the written word? What more can I do?
I lived 10 years as an unbelieving sinner. I lived 20 years of my Christian life a cripple doing more harm to the Kingdom than good. Today I begin the 23rd year of my life as a victorious saint. It feels good to see that number increase.
I will never tire of telling the old, old story of how Jesus saved my soul. I sing today of how He set me free from my past. I am not proud of my failures but I will not hide them if they can help others find His grace.
Birthdays are good for the soul. They remind us of the value of time. They make us reflect back. They teach us to look forward. My future is full of hope.
I have a loving husband who reflects Jesus to me. I have married children who make me proud to be called mom. I have my first grandbaby. Eli makes my heart sing. Our family will continue on in the fear and love of the Lord. We are not bound by our pasts. We are free to live in Jesus. We have a new legacy.
Today we celebrate this legacy of faith, of life in Jesus, and of family love.
Here we are after dinner at Oregano’s. Whewwwwww ate too much but enjoyed the love!