Every good American wants a get-rich-quick scheme. Considering our society of overeaters, the surest way to make a fortune is to offer a fast, effective, and easy weight loss program. The slogan: Eat more but weigh less and without exercise is a sure in for instant success since the majority of Americans want to lose weight.
Eli is having the opposite problem. Tori is now supplementing his diet with formula to help him gain weight. The nurse consultant also advised that he not be given a pacifier since it causes him to burn calories.
Now every mother knows that pacifiers are rightly named because they pacify a crabby baby. Fortunately for us, Eli is such a sweet natured little guy. But considering the majority of people in this world are crabby—at least some of the time–I had a brainstorm.
Promise me you won’t steal my idea. I plan to create Adult pacifiers. This might make me millions if I can pull it off. I assume my idea is not an original. But I have an added twist, which will make for a blockbuster book and diet program.
Pacifiers in the following flavors: spicy pizza, mocha chocolate, and minty ice cream to name a few. As the dieter sucks on the pacifier, their cravings are satisfied. Zero calories are taken in yet calories are burned by the sucking exercise.
It will be affordable and time saving. No gym memberships necessary. The Pacifiers can be used while on the job or watching TV. Imagine burning calories while lounging on the sofa? Perfect for Americans of all ages.
But that’s not all. Considering the road-rage, divorce rate, and substance abuse in this country, my pacifiers can bring comfort to a society that needs to just chill. I could even make them in various colors and styles to fit individual personalities. I can’t fail with this! Who wants to be in my test group?
Today marks Eli’s one month with us. He makes our hearts swoon. In honor of his birthday, he produced his first laugh this morning. Mike was bouncing him and with royal music in the background, Eli let out a belly laugh. Just to make sure it was real, he followed up with an encore. A delightful sound which far exceeded the royal wedding!
Yesterday we took Eli on a social visit to meet our dearest friends who has faithfully prayed everyday for our family. It was fitting for Jeanine to give Eli a prayer blessing. She gave one of the seven blessings spoken over Dustin and Tori at the wedding. Having been friends with both the Jones and the Womacks, Jeanine was the prayer link that brought our families together resulting in the marriage and now Eli. Who would have known nearly fifteen years ago in a prayer conference God was moving His divine hand to make this joy complete in our lives.
John and Jeanine Voorhees, thanks for being our mentors and dearest friends. We cherish your love and your prayers!
Oh, and let’s sing to Eli.
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dearest Eli
Happy birthday to you.
We love you little man!