Sometimes it helps just to step back and reflect on what you don’t do.
My mind needs simple truths. Therefore, God often speaks to me in black-and-white, easy-to-grasp, short sentences.
- List things in our past that keep us from loving Jesus.
- Use the song, I’d Rather Have Jesus to list present day idols.
- Ask ourselves if we love Jesus more than these.
I asked God to show me the truth of my heart. He simply said, “What are you not doing?”
“I may dream of being a ‘somebody’ someday. I would love to live in a house with a walk-in closet, a large kitchen with pantry, and enough space for family gatherings. I may have desires to travel the world, teach to large groups, write powerful words, and be financially secure.”
But I do not obsess for these things. I battle these thoughts from taking root in my soul. I choose Jesus and have peace where I am with what I have.
So yes, I do love Jesus more. My actions match my passion. What is in my heart drives how I spend my time. I wasn’t certain of this until I passed this week’s test.
As God often does, He gave me a test. He placed before me my greatest temptation. Do I love being with Him more than I love being with my grandson Eli? Blackaby teaches that our devotion time is a result of a love relationship not the means to one. If I fulfill a deep desire to be with the Lord, then I love Him.
I was blessed this week with four glorious days to babysit. Even though it is difficult to spend hours in the Word and prayer when taking care of a five-month old, I ended the time more confident of my love relationship with Jesus.
Here is what God taught me through Eli.
When I am with Eli and that overpowering passion to hold on to him and never let go nearly smothers me; it’s then that my heart says, “Father, help me to love You more than this.”
When Eli, with innocent faith, trusts me with his very life–not to let his head go under the water, not to drop him, always to feed and clothe him, and to rush him to the ER when he breaks out in welts. (Yes, that happened this week.) I pray, “Father, give me the faith like this child.”
When my every waking moment with Eli is consumed with meeting his needs and keeping him safe. I worship God. “Father, bless you for being consumed with my every need.”
It’s the things I don’t do that guide me to do the things I should do.