My God had me in a refiner’s fire to burn away paranoia. For the first time in my life, I saw how adept I was at creating a fix to get what I wanted. I wanted an answer. He wanted to end my nightmarish mental struggles.
I took the easy way out. I stopped His healing refinement.
I manipulated the circumstances. I controlled the situation. I fixed the problem. I have used flattery, charm, anger, withdrawal, guilt trips, silent treatment, crying, deceit, counselors, friends, work, busyness and even servanthood (I’ll do this for you if…) to get a fix. Others use drugs, alcohol, food, and even sex. Sadly, except for illegal substances, I too have used these.
Often times, the struggles in life ARE His rehab. We stop the healing when we go for the fix INSTEAD of hanging on until we hear Him say, “It is finished!”
Being correct about one thing, I knew in only a matter of time, I would be healed. I just didn’t see this angle coming. But oh, how blessed He is. He opened my eyes to see not only did I have a lifetime of paranoia but I also had adapted a lifetime arsenal of quick fixes.
When He opens your eyes to the truth, He is about to set you free.
Can anyone out there relate? Have you found yourself time and time again fighting the same battles over and over? Could it be you have stopped Him just before the final chisel stroke produced the finished masterpiece?
For the first time in my life, I feel ready for the next battle. I’m armed with new weapons. Here is my battle plan.
Starting now in the good and quiet times I will prepare for the storm to come.
I will daily recite the verses He has given me to strengthen my mind.
I will daily renew my mind with His promises of victory, strength, and freedom.
I will record all the lies that I have believed and combat them with truths from His Word.
I will daily pray that He will open my eyes to recognize the lies and the next attack at the first sign of its approach.
I will ask Him to reveal the ‘fixes’ I am tempted to use.
I will trust His strength NOT to use another fix.
I will learn to trust ONLY in grace during His rehab.
I will stand firm no matter how long or painful the rehab takes.
I will rejoice with Him when I hear Him shout, “It is finished!”