I’m not too old

I bought a carton of crayons for school.  Yes, for me.  Don’t laugh.  I might never tell you another secret.

My textbook said I needed playtime each day.  So I bought a coloring book, watercolors, and a puzzle.  The assignment: do something everyday just for fun with absolutely no purpose or goal in mind.

Just for fun sounded fun, until I tried it.  It wasn’t fun.  I had to time myself.  I had to complete one page before going to the next, even when I didn’t like the picture anymore.  I had to stay in the lines.

So I decided the next time to let Eli join me.  He chattered through the whole process.  He didn’t even see the lines.  He had more fun dumping the crayons on the table and putting them back in the box.

I should have just enjoyed him, but no.  I forced my hand over his and finished the picture, no matter how many times he’d close the book on me.  I’m pretty sure I have a problem.

I’d love to see if your head is nodding or maybe your looking over you shoulder to see if I’m standing there reading your mind.  Raise your hand if you can’t enjoy life because you’re too concerned about being good…enough.

How many opportunities or accomplishments have you missed or quit because your goal was to be the best and you simply weren’t?   I’m ashamed of my number.

Author Rosanne Bane wrote, “Perfectionists think that insisting on near perfect performance from the outset and criticizing themselves for every mistake will make them learn faster, but his actually impairs performance.”

I also read that to become a master in any area of performance 10,000 hours of practice was required.  I did the math.  At my current pace, I’ll need 13 years.  That’s old for me.  So I just stopped blogging.

I’ve been miserable.  Images of ninety-year-old pregnant Sarah haunt my dreams.  Then an archangel flies by with a trailing neon sign, “You’re not too old.”  I wake to the sound of the pounding nails smashing my fingers onto the keyboard.

If it took Noah 120 years to complete the ark, I can strive on.  But I need to learn a few things.

The lines stifle creativity.

Stop when the book is closed.

Go with the new thing even if it gets dumped on you.

It’s more fun when someone else is with you.

So, let me introduce you to Mike’s blog.  Check out my hubby’s new adventure.  I call him a bi-vocational missionary.  His dream: build a business foundation, network and train other CEOs, then use their combined assets to spread the Gospel.  It’s a God thing.

You can read all about it at Patriarchproject.com and be sure to sign up for his email updates.

BTW Do you like the new blog design?


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